Back in January, the Guardian published an interview with Sarkozy’s personal trainer, Julie Imperiali.
She claims that her innovative Tectonic exercise regime – based on controlling and strengthening the perineal muscles – will have improved the presidential sex life somewhat, too. Because we’re a bit sqeamish about all this kind of thing in Britain, the most you might find are references on certain websites to the fact that the perineum contains an unusually high concentration of nerve-endings, and is therefore classed (in the Kinsey Report) as a male erogenous zone. The French understand the value of this particular body part, and 60% of the cost of specialist perineal re-education sessions are met by the state.
Unfortunately, France 24 have just announced:
French President Nicolas Sarkozy was taken ill while exercising today, his office said in a statement.
“He was immediately seen to by his doctor. He is currently undergoing extra examinations in hospital,” the statement said. “Other information will be communicated later.”
Looks like Nicholas has been overdoing the buttock clenching…….
Anna is the landlady of the Raccoon Arms. She lives in the Monbazillac area of South West France and still takes a keen interest in British politics.
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“Looks like Nicholas has been overdoing the buttock clenching
I enjoyed it Blink!
“….The French understand the value of this particular body part, and 60% of the cost of specialist perineal re-education sessions are met by the state….”
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Letting the state pay for specialist perineal re-education sessions; what a bunch of tight-arses.
have they got to the bottom of his injury/ health problem yet???
I think they’re too busy on the French Space Exploration Programme, Blink; they are sending a probe to Uranus….
They’ll be putting a man on the moon next.
Is that the bottom feeder just reporting for duty?
It’s a Bum rap Guv!
How disappointing; Ms. Raccoon raises the serious subject of M. Sarkozy’s suspected pelvic-flex-induced injury to be met with nothing but a series of weak jokes cracked in very poo taste. Sigh.
Cheeky!
OK, you can laugh, but I’m living here [in France] without a “leader” … buttocks up … uh… bottoms up … uh … well, whatever: cheers
Clench and then Quench.
News just in: It’s a gloomy outlook as far as the President’s future clench-capabilities are concerned and some of the world’s most ardent perineal experts have tonight been tutting and shaking their heads when asked about the likelihood of over-flexed haunch muscles making a full recovery. One expert (who wishes to remain anonymous) says of the over-clenched musculature: “I suspect that the delicate muscle structure has been exercised beyond reasonable limits and have every reason to believe that the clench muscles have been irreparably damaged.”
In other words, he’s wrecked ‘em.
P.S. I forgot to mention that the French probe sent to Uranus is rumoured to be called Sbuttnik.
Sounds like the complete opposite exercise to what Gordon Brown practices.
Aie!
And now I am supposed to go to sleep in a country with a Prez with irreparable clench muscles? It’s bad enough that he never muscled what he promised when he ran for presidency … Like all kinds of necessary muscled reforms, which would make life bearable for employers, instead of paying taxes over taxes [no kidding] to fill the holes in the treasury.
Welcome to my nightmare – I retreat to the silken sheets. Good night
Sorry if I have conjured up some disturbing images just before silken sheet time, Ch
David Miliband has stated this morning that he will be visiting President Sarkozy, on our behalf, as soon as he gets his next round of expense claims. He adds that it is “unfortunate’ that he has succumbed to an injury of this type and hopes that he will be fit again soon. If not can he take Carla to dinner, please.”
It’s the economy stupid! The bum’s bust.
“We, the British people, are delighted that our EU comrade Mr Sarkozy has been declared fit with no unforseen circumstances and will be able, now, to take his place in the Australian cricket team for the next Ashes Test Match in England” (Trolley Poynbum Jul 27th)
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