Living within walls erected in the 12th century by the Knight’s Templars has added benefits, not always appreciated by M. Le Plumber whose job it is to drill holes for new fangled central heating through these ancient ramparts.
They imbue a sense of impregnability, omnipotence, omniscience, and a desire to continue the mighty works of my second cousin, twenty three times removed, Nostradamus. Those who would seek to stem this flow of powerful prose by abusing their position of chief coffee maker to the illustrious NostraRaccoonius to hint that my morning vigil with tweezers and magnifying glass indicate a growing physical resemblance with that Master of Prophecy will, I confidently predict, find themselves scrubbing the kitchen floor for the next year. Begone! Mr G.
Let us look at what 2010 holds for us.
Old Raccoon’s Almanac.
Within the isles a very horrible uproar,
One will hear only a cacophony of class war,
So great will be the insult of the blunderers
That they will be banished to ignominy and disgrace.
The populous places will be unaffordable:
Great discord to build in green fields:
Bounty delivered to imprudent incapable ones:
Then for the Zanu comrades dissension and death.
Lightning in Downing Street will perform a portentous deed,
One which could never have been done by human hand,
Parliamentarians made lame by their electorate
Flame haired maiden will make the affair known to the masses.
The dart from the sky will make its extension,
Deaths speaking: great execution.
The stone in the seat, the proud nation restored,
Noise, porcine monster, purge expiation.
The old lady of the city, previously held in high esteem,
will be reduced to penury, and her servants flee to foreign shores.
The power and the might will be held in Basle,
A river of Gold will flow to the East.
The exiles will come from afar
To deliver from hunger the great nation:
Red adversary will become pale with fear,
As the people are risen to exterminate their laws.
Led by a simple minded blogger,
Fashioned in black, behind mask,
Named after leafy bounty of New World,
A’feared of no man, nor of flack.
The one eyed one chased out of the Kingdom,
The advisers through anger put to the fire:
From a realm placed in harm and double doubt,
Will arise a great Nation once more.
Happy New Year Everyone!
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
yes
but will Liverpool sack Rafa and Everton sack Moyes??
Who cares what Liverpool do?
Now Everton, that’s a different matter….
Yes, tribulation is on the way. 2010, 11 & 12 will see some cracking action, I foresee.
Excellent until the last line. Seems to me we’re going to have to cull an awful lot of blobs, crooks, civil servants, bankers, multiple retailers, plonkers, lazy coasters and assorted Fifth Columnists before Britain can put the Great before its name again.
It is going to get very nasty out there in 2010 – but I fear what Oborne calls the Political Class have no ideas beyond repression.
And a happy New Year to one and all.
YM x
Have you told OH about this? I think he might like to know….lol
Eh up d’ere Blink la’
Izz youz an Evertonian or wha’?
Don’ worry ’bout Raffa lad, worry about dat f**kin’ great debt de lads in Red got, yerknowharrameanlike?
YM x
Pretty neat pastiche of the old gentleman from Notre Dame. If the blogging gets too much, I foresee a new career for you!
I should also mention I’ve just seen some disturbing footage of a soggy polar bear and her cub clinging forlornly to a shrinking ice-cube. It make me very sad to think that I was partly responsible for this outrage. But I cheered up when the announcer said I could help, by adopting a polar bear and it would only cost me 3 quid a month. I can’t help feeling terribly guilty about the bear and her cub. But happily it seems money is the answer to everything when it comes down to it and all we have to do is give, give, give, give and give again.
Cato,
OH Who that? Never heard of him!
Speedreading, as one does, I thought for a split second that the sub-heading was “Old Raccoon’s Armagnac”. Does dyslexia suddenly strike the aged?
In any case, I’ve put it on the wallboard to check them off as they happen – some more than once, I suspect.
Happy New Year.
The Almanac you are welcome too Mike – the Armagnac you so much as look at, at your peril!!!!
I was talking to my friend Gladwys Street
She was all ruffled and worn of feet
Big Bill had called the other day
The trip to Kirkby’s been delayed
So you’ll have to make do with a lick of paint
She was not happy
She thought him a Saint
But she was wrong
Where to go now?
Oh, come the day?
I said I’d best be on me way
Led by a simple minded blogger,
Fashioned in black, behind mask,
Named after leafy bounty of New World,
A’feared of no man, nor of flack.
Well, excuse me but that sounds like a good description of OH to me!
Cato,
So you accept the libel writ then, I’m admitting nowt!
Here’s to a very Happy New Year!
I’d just like to wish everyone a very Happy New Year…..
Happy New year – here’s to a better one.
Clara x
Predictions? I do certainties, so there.
Hope you and yours have a great new year, Anna. I look forward to meeting you again soon.
I would like to wish everyone a very Happy New Year.
Happy New Year, Gloria. Did you consume your allocation yet. If not, don’t worry. You can always add it on today.
Great Pome, Anna, but it doesn’t rhyme, or am I missing something here.
Neither did Nostradamus’ quatrains!
I know that, Silly. I was his Mother. That probably makes me your Auntie.
Time you both learned how to write a Pome.