The too-Coldingham Turbine...
Though a turbine to some may seem pleasing
When it’s blowing quite briskly or breezing,
In the winter’s deep chill
When the air is quite still
They need heaters to keep them from freezing.
If to own them you still do aspire
As the subsidies mount ever-higher,
You should know that a gale
May well cause them to fail
And a hurricane makes them catch fire.
And though you might call it a shame
And look for somebody to blame
For the money you’ve lost,
You have found to your cost
That wind-power’s a zero-sum game.
Which makes this week’s competition the topical one of wind turbines and ‘green’ innovations – do your worst!
Last week’s winner was Mick Turatian with this effort on deposits in the central banking area of occupy lsx protest…excellent!
Get in touch Mick and the Willie Warmer is all yours. (do check sizing, there have been complaints….)
Ms Raccoon lives in the Monbazillac area of South West France, renowned for its fine wines and gourmet food, so she frequently finds better things to do than sit in front of a computer all morning. She is liable to take off traveling at a moment's notice. Consequently this blog only gets updated these days when it is raining - and it doesn't rain very often round here...
{ 21 comments }
Off topic. What a very nice christmas card in the top right hand corner.
I agree – very festive!
There once was a Turbine called Stan
Who happily hummed as he span
Till one stormy day
To his owners dismay
His high C flamed out with a bang
May I kick things off?
When the rain falls in sheets like a curtain,
There’ll be plenty of wind soon for certain,
But a red sky at night
Means your turbine’s alight
And your subsidy’s gone for a Burton.
Is macheath’s effort really about wind turbines?
If you take out turbine, it sounds more like Gloria’s bloomers to me!
I assure you, Saul, I am far too much in awe of Ms Smudd to presume in that way – however, now you come to mention it…
By the way, where is Gloria? A limerick contest without her is like Rumpelstiltskin without the princess.
(Or do I mean Rapunzel?)
There once was a man from Eastleigh
Who thought that coal power was rather beastly
With one fell swoop
He scooped our loot
And spent it on environmental lunacy
Lets hope the CPS get the bastard….. but I’m not holding my breath
I just thought I’d enter to say,
That those wind-powered turbines are gay.
It’s like one gentle puff
Is never enough,
And a blow-job just blows them away.
Is there an ‘o’ in puff?
When Limerick writing, it’s felt
You should deal with the letters you’re dealt.
So it really unkind
When poetically blind
Start to nit-pick about how it’s spelt.
(I suppose that’s blown my chances of this week’s willy-warmer now).
And I even screwed up the third line:
“So it’s really unkind”
A turbine installed at Ardrossan,
one night, in a gale, had it’s brakes on,
the wind was so strong,
that it didn’t take long,
to bathe the night sky fecking crimson.
All birds breathe a sigh of relief
As slicers tumble to the heath
The ones still standing
Help planes with landing
As beacons to foolish belief
A bird-brained D.A. in the State
of Dakota was weighing the fate
Not of the “nice”
Windfarms,
millions they slice
But bad oil firms who killed twenty-eight
http://tinyurl.com/3eaqfap
- I can’t believe I’m referencing a limerick
All those who were caught in the storm
With no heating will think this poor form:
For the whole world despises
Those who boast of their prizes
But MY willy will be lovely and warm!
Dear Mick, I salute your ability
And forgive you your lack of humility,
For when all’s said and done,
The object you’ve won
Would, for me, lack a certain utility.
You are kindness itself Miss macheath:
I expected a smack in the teeth.
I do like a pal you
Can take at face value
Overlooking what lies underneath.
*applauds riotously*
*blushes at wholly unmerited accolade*
and I loved yours too but most of all your very first one with “A red sky at night / Means your turbo’s alight” which I would nominate, if permitted.
Comments on this entry are closed.