A little light hearted quiz for you on this frosty morn.
If you were in the business of churning out dubious statements, relying on innuendo, gossip and unsubstantiated claims, meddling with statistics – what is the one award, the one badge of respectability, that you would crave above all other?
Come along, you are being very slow this morning, you have been around the Internet long enough to know the answer to this one…
Well done, that’s right – Charitable status!
It should have come as no surprise to me that – guess who?
The Bureau of Instigative Churnalism sorry, The Bureau of Investigative Journalism, has been making repeated spirited attempts to persuade the Charity Commissioners to give them charitable status.
Not once, not twice, but thrice they crowed tried! The latest attempt involved the leading firm of ‘charity specialist’ solicitors – Bates, Wells and Braithwaite writing a report for them arguing their case. I bet that made a hole in the £2 million donation the BIJ received from Labour donor David Potter.
It should have been released to a fanfare of self-congratulatory back slapping next Wednesday. The web site for this ‘good news’ was set up; the canapés ordered, the invitations sent out. Signed by Iain Overton… editor of the Bureau until his resignation in the wake of the Newsnight disaster.
On Friday night, Maeve McClenaghan of the Bureau sent out a low key e-mail to the invitees saying that ‘it had been postponed’, with no further explanation…
Shame really, I quite like the idea of a fake charity for broken down old hacks….I can just see the endless afternoon TV advertisements.
‘Johann’s lies had grown long and convoluted, he was barely able to walk work when he came to us, but the Bureau of Investigative Journalism has restored him to health’ – cut to scene of Johann gambolling happily round a pasture of buttercups and daisies…..’Just three pounds a week can help other Johann’s’.
Or ‘Iain was covered in festering tweets when we discovered him cowering in a dingy garret, he was close to death by libel tort until the Bureau stepped in. £185,000 can save other journalists from a similar fate’ – give generously! Cut to shot of Iain munching happily on a bag of carrots, not a stick in sight.
A special prize on offer this week, haven’t decided what it is yet, for the most inventive ‘story board’ for a TV advertisement for donations to the Bureau of Investigative Journalism, should they ever get their charitable status…
Ms Raccoon needs to take a break from writing for a day or so, before her fingers drop off – so step forward bloglands most talented commentators, and make this a comment thread to remember (and preferable not because Ms Raccoon got sued for it!!!)
Ms Raccoon lives in the Monbazillac area of South West France, renowned for its fine wines and gourmet food, so she frequently finds better things to do than sit in front of a computer all morning. She is liable to take off traveling at a moment's notice. Consequently this blog only gets updated these days when it is raining - and it doesn't rain very often round here...
{ 23 comments }
They would surely need a home for broken-down journalists, perhaps it could be named “Dunlying”.
It’s that confusion-thang between
“not for profit” …. paying your executives lots of money.
and
“charity” ….. giving your money away to people who have none.
Give it a name.
I can see it extending into an ‘adopt-a-hack’ scheme, where you pay a monthly sum and, in return, you get an envelope full of cuttings of scurrilous and intrusive stories which your pet journalist has published under your name to avoid prosecution.
They could call it the Libel Lottery.
(music; something Barber’s Adagio-ish but cheaper)(A scruffy hack sits at a desk in a dingy office, typing.)
V/O
This is Ewan.
Ewan is an investigative journalist. When bad things happen, his job is to help people express their innermost secrets to the world and achieve closure though allowing people like you to feel their shared pain.
It;s not an easy job, and that’s why he needs your help. Just £150 will buy him the technology to record a conversation from 200 yards away or to hack into a wifi-enabled computer or smartphone.
Remember, sometimes the truth can be difficult to find, but dedicated investigative journalists like Ewan already have plenty of leads. If you give generously, nothing will be kept secret any more….
(C/U Journalist looks directly at camera)
…. unless you ask us to.
So give what you can to our appeal to Make Privacy History. Can you really afford not to?
No brainer, girl – Nobel Peace Prize…
Or “The Orwell Prize”!
A first-class satirical piece; but I do wonder if exposing the BIJ for what it appears to be will affect the integrity of the Leveson Inquiry?
I say, I say, I say. When is a charity not a Charity?
When it’s a lobbying organisation! Ta-daa!
I’m here all week.
What happened to the canapes? Is it too late to put my hand up?
As long as they don’t contain anchovies. Can’t stand anchovies.
Well, we’ll look forward to that. But surely, this rash of aggressively lefty organizations (eco-Nazis, etc.,) is directly connected to the apparent collapse of the Soviet Union; fail by that route, let’s try another one.
I hesitate to nominate (does that scan?) the entire staff at the BOIJ for the Walter Duranty Prize, as I suspect that the queue (led by certain persons at the BBC) is already three times around the block with more ready to join the line
Brave points, Ms. Racoon. Would be nice if you wouldn’t be sued though.
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Would you like to accuse anyone whom you don’t like of having a drug habit, or maybe you’d like to accuse them of enjoying a bit of light S&M action, but don’t know where to start ?
As a long-established team of creative investigative journalists, a branch of the topical Bureau of Investigative Journalism, we like nothing more than building up a dreadfully dodgy dossier on such tabloid-screeching peccadillos which we can then fool some naive dupe to broadcast without elementary checks. We’ll name names, usually at random, we’ll even create evidence if necessary (although we usually find that a futile chore) and we’ll do it all under the aegis of an independent charitable body, just so we can cream off all the tax and VAT benefits.
You’ll have heard our brand-name, but probably thought it wasn’t for you – well think again. Don’t waste your time with the Woodwards and Bernsteins – all they can ever do is uncover hidden facts and expose real wrongdoing. Let’s face it, the last thing you want is for anyone to say of you “He should have gone to Smacksavers”.
‘Smacksavers’ – when good journalism just isn’t going to hack it, we’re on your side.
Interesting that it’s now being claimed ‘CHILD ABUSE INVESTIGATOR ANDREA DAVISON WAS AT DUNCROFT APPROVED SCHOOL’. I wonder if any other alumni can remember her? Is Duncroft a bandwaggon that just keeps rolling?
Yes indeedy……
… The tentacles wrapped around the world just now……
The infamous barrister Felicity Gerry who prosecuted the Heroine twittered about women in British Prisons committing suicide in cells with blood stained walls. Not content with destroying her childhood incarserating her in a paedophile ridden Approved School the they set about to destroy her chance of a peaceful old age.
http://google-law.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/child-abuse-investigator-andrea-davison.html
“In cars erating” sound like fun though, is it like Formula One?
I believe the lower orders refer to it as ‘dogging’ !
Gawd that’s funny! I love the way that anyone who does not agree that Duncroft was Hell will find themselves labelled as not pretty enough to be abused. This stuff is appalling but it’s amusing too, in a sort of bleak way.
There’s a Jimmy Saville fancy dress costume up for grabs on ebay, if anybody is interested. Current bid £25.00.
How’s about that then?
“the lower orders”………..Ooh! Get Her!
Check out there repayment schedule. Like all debt instruments, a loan entails the rearrangement of
pecuniary possessions over time, between the lender and the borrower.
In this time the borrower can apply for loans.
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