A chill has run down my spine at the mere thought of writing this story. Cold grips my heart.
It is so unnatural, runs so contrary to human instinct, or the human instinct I believed I had a grasp of.
It foretells a future that I shall be glad to have no part of. A future I could not adapt to.
Sex is one of the most basic of human instincts, after food, water and warmth. Even before for some folk. It is such a basic instinct that most of us need no education – but curiosity abounds.
We want to learn more; we believe there is more to learn, just around the corner, turn another page and more of the mystery will be revealed to us. None more so than those who have not yet got their leg over. Adolescents. Boys in particular.
I have no doubt that vellum pages were pored over by grubby fingers in medieval times. Victorian youth fingered exotic postcards surreptitiously even during Mass. It was ever thus.
The world has changed folks. The youth of today are inhuman. An alien species. Tutored in ways we cannot fathom.
An Asian shop keeper in Kirkaldy was arranging his new magazines on his shelves when a group of schoolboys came into the shop. Some of the out of date magazines were in a pile on the floor to make way for new stock. They included some rather risqué titles. Bollywood Babes, Asian Titties, Mustapha-Ouank, you know the sort of thing. A magnet for adolescent boys the world over.
Distract the shop keeper, shove a few magazines in your pocket, and run like hell for the back of the bike sheds where you can put them to good use and while away an hour or so?
Not a bit of it.
These boys hot footed it straight to Fife to the offices of the ‘Front Page Campaign’ where they reported that the shop keeper was currently failing to keep these titles on the top shelf contrary to the Indecent Displays (Control) Act 1981. They knew their rights.
Amy King, who fronts the ‘Front Page Campaign’, beetled round to the police at Kirkaldy.
Since she wasn’t reporting a burglary in her house, or a bank robbery or anything like that, they dropped everything and rushed back to the shop where the shop keeper was still innocently arranging his stock. They were that quick off the mark.
Which is how Saeed Ahmed came to be the first person in ten years to be prosecuted under this Act – and fined £53.
What one earth do you do to the mind of an adolescent boy to make him behave like that?
*shiver*
Anna is the landlady of the Raccoon Arms. She lives in the Monbazillac area of South West France and still takes a keen interest in British politics.
{ 30 comments }
And of course – in whose constituency did this travesty occur?
Kirkcaldy.
That’s right. Gordon ‘Colostomy’ Brown – architect of all that is good and worthy, creator of children whose sense of ‘ewman rites’ outweighs their hormones, destroyer of futures. It is He.
I’m only slightly surprised it hasn’t already happened in Harridan Harperson’s constituency.
D
‘What one earth do you do to the mind of an adolescent boy to make him behave like that?’
Teach him from the cradle the twin tenets that if the law is broken, then someone must be at fault, and ‘where there’s blame, there’s a claim’. Now sit back and wait for the inevitable lawsuit seeking compensation for emotional damage and distress…
O tempora! O mores!
“Since she wasn
Brilliant !!!
Also: “…They included some rather risqu
Ham shank,
Was it not you I saw with a copy of ‘Other Imam’s Wives’ last week?
Shurely a case of mosquetaken identity…
Our newsagent recently tried to encourage Mr Smudd to purchase a copy of ‘Nuts’ in 3-D. On my next visit, I advised the newsagent not to encourage Mr Smudd to do any such thing, if either of them know what’s good for them.
As if we needed any more evidence, it’s now clear the the Police Service is not “Our” Police Service at all. Where “Our” means those of us that pay our council taxes, hold down jobs, dont break the law and generally are happy to just get along with life and leave everyone else to do the same.
After the Sewer Party’s decade of targets and box ticking; of politicisation and ACPO; of Ian Blair and Stockwell; of the Terrorism Act, DNA database and erosion of civil liberties; of diversity training and racial quotas; of Gay, Asian, Black Police Associations – this organisation is now essentially out of control.
It decides for itself what is important and what isnt, who to investigate and who to fob off, what laws it will enforce and what arent important, which orders to obey and which to ignore.
Was there absolutely nothing in Snotty’s constituency that day which was more important than a bloke arranging magazines? No robberies, murders or rapes? No muggings or street crime? No investigations outstanding? No burglaries needing a home visit? No child protection? Not one single “real” crime? Nothing at all?
I think not.
Not “My” Police Force any more – Theresa has a tough job ahead of her. I hope she succeeds.
You know the answer to that; ‘we had to take action as we are duty bound to investigate all crimes reported to us’. This of course does not apply to household burglaries or car theft. The police have become too PC; I;d laugh it weren’t so sad.
From the news article – “Unfortunately, someone reported it and the police came and took away the magazines away as evidence.”
So I can see that the police will be returning them now that the case has finished. Not!
Ewwwww! Not with all the pages stuck together, surely?
Has anyone looked at http://www.thefrontpagecampaign.org.uk/ ?
Some inappropriate pictures on the front page of the site.
“An Asian shop keeper in Kirkaldy..”
What colour where the kids?
What’s the wog/white ratio in that shithole?
Not hard, is it?
Wots not hard?
SadBut MadLad, I’m not sure they would be in a sellable condition anyway…
Kirkcaldy? Brownshirts (note Brown)? Informers? Immediate action against a minority faith by political police? Now I wonder what all that might bring to mind from history.
53 Quid? That was a bit of a waste of time and money. Let’s keep a sense of proportion here. It must have cost hundreds if not thousands to prosecute him.
What you’re all missing here is that the police have a ‘detectable’ crime here.
Not much paperwork but a ‘detected crime’. A bonus point in anyone’s book and will go down well with the Superintendent.
Not forgetting that I happen (oh the shame of it) to be an ex-copper.
“These boys hot footed it straight to Fife to the offices of the
The paper reports: “A SHOPKEEPER has been fined …for selling pornographic magazines …….”
A definition of Pornographic is ‘likely to deprave or corrupt’.
So if anyone looks at the evidence, by definition they’re depraved & corrupted. So how is Justice served, if police, magistrates etc are depraved & corrupted?
The kids were only being good citizens
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuVxH95o9sY
Amy King and 1216 of her followers on their campaign facebook
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=44055711308#!/group.php?gid=44055711308&v=wall
Don’t click on Amy King … you have been warned!
Someone actually married her???
She needs to get a life.
Ah Amy King and the Mormons … making more sense now.
Weren’t the boys more shocked by the apparent absence of magazines catering to the LGB&T community? That is prima facie evidence of institutional homophobia in the newsagent community.
Oh joy a bunch of Scottish based Christian Fundies. What fun. Best bit about the facebook page?
“The Front Page Campaign has received a Big Lottery grant of
“Best bit about the facebook page?
I blame the internet. Kids must have seen it all on the internet and wouldn’t bother with a few wank mags. Get the newsagent in trouble is more fun for them.
The story has funny side because pink magazines were involved. But indeed it is scary. The arrival of Bristish version of Pavlik Morozov version is inevitable. Will it be this time charming Paul Frost boy (just translating the name)?
Surely this is way way out of date.
I have been reliably informed that anyone with google has access to all the porn their hearts (or wherever) could desire.
I am surprised the jazz mag market still gets any income.