Political Poetry

The Ballard of Elliot Morley

May 27, 2011
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With apologies to the Beatles Elliot Morley Pays off his mortgage and pockets a cool sixteen grand All cash in hand; ‘Sloppy accounting’, All a mistake and there’s nobody else he can blame, Oh, what a shame! All the crooked people, Where do they all come from? All the crooked people, Where do they all [...]

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To his Oh-so-Coy Mistress …

April 28, 2011
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Had we but cash enough, and time, To print our names would be a crime; Our lawyers would devise a way To keep the media at bay. Super-injunctions fit the bill When we’ve embarrassments to kill. For, Lady, you deserve a break (And I’d be free to play the rake). But at my back I [...]

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Oh! Mr Porter!

February 21, 2011
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Oh! Mr. Porter, whatever will you do? You want to stand as President, And now they’re bullying you! Tell me who to vote for as quickly as you can, Oh! Mr. Porter, what a silly girl I am! I joined the student union, just like you asked me to, Came up to town to stop [...]

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Rupert Regrets …

January 27, 2011

Who wants to spend a year in gaol ? Who wants their bid for Sky to fail ? Who wants the bother of a big public fuss ? A big public fuss is no good for us ! Who wants bad headlines ev’ry day ? When Chinese markets are in play ? Who wants shame [...]

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The Plumber’s Tale.

November 24, 2010

My aim in life when growing up was to learn a trade, A bricklayer or a plumber that would have me made, I wanted all the trappings my earnings would then bring, A lovely wife and children, a home where I’d be king. Now I’ve served my time I find it really strange, As a [...]

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Poor Polly – betrayed again!

September 2, 2010

There’s a one-eyed yellow Scotsman of a dour and sullen hue There’s a stench of pious bullshit all around There’s a broken-heated woman dreams of socialism true And the yellow Scot forever lets her down He was known as Red McBroon, and he made the Party swoon Though his cowardice had long begun to smell [...]

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They went to war in a sieve, they did….

August 18, 2010

They went to war in a Sieve, they did, In a Sieve they went to war: In spite of all Hans Blix could say, At Bush’s command on that fateful day In a Sieve they went to war! But when no weapons were found in the place And every one cried, “You have no case” [...]

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