Save the Whale!

by admin on February 26, 2010

Greenpeace would have been proud of the BBC last night.

Caught between the rock of trying to report on one of the day’s hottest story – that of the tragic death of Dawn Brancheau at the Orlando, Seaworld by a killer Whale – and the hard place of their own commitment to liberal values which must espouse environmentalism and be diametrically opposed to those nasty Japanese who actually – eek! – kill Whales, they were in some difficulties.

Superior journalism came through with flying colours. (Sarcasm warning!)

Forced by the common knowledge factor to admit that this was not the first death at the hands of these mammals, they conceded that Nootka, another Orca killer whale was one of three whales implicated in the death of 20-year old Keltie Byrne, 20 years ago, but only mentioned sotto voce that Tilikum, the killer whale implicated in the most recent death had ‘reportedly’ been involved.

That delicately took care of the ‘who’ factor. Moving swiftly on to the ‘what’ factor, as in ‘what should happen now’, they managed to completely gloss over the commercial factor by reverting to baby language, and describing Tilikum as ‘a daddy’ and a ‘grand-father’ who was ‘needed’ by the rest of the pod ‘to keep order’ – sub text…. there could be more deaths if you insist we destroy this cuddly whale. This conveniently ignored Tilikum’s immense value to the Seaworld  zoo as a breeding stud who has ‘fathered’ – if we are to stick to the BBCs cuddly terms – most of the other ‘million pound’ Orca whales kept as a visitor attraction at the $2.7 billion theme park.

The Greenpeace campaign to ‘Save the Whales’ has resulted in strict laws regarding the capture of Whales for entertainment or edible purposes, thus increasing the value of Tilikum’s prowess as a stud during his short life span – Whales in captivity live for an average 5/6 years as against 30 to 60 in the wild.

For those not able to travel immediately to Florida to sit ringside and salivate over the possibility of yet another young girl in skin-tight wet suit being dragged to an undignified drowning, the Internet is alive with the search for a video showing the full ghastly details – the first person to put it up on Youtube is expected to make a handsome profit.

Seaworld is also expecting an increase in the number of visitors, just as soon as they can get the annoying Health and Safety people out of their hair. Their press release is a masterpiece of Peter Singer-ese.

“Many people are asking about the future care of Tilikum, the whale involved in the incident. We have every intention of continuing to interact with this animal, though the procedures for working with him will change. We are still reviewing this incident and will evaluate the situation and make a decision accordingly.”

“We have received several requests to clarify our previous statement on Tilikum. We took on the care of Tilikum 18 years ago and we will continue to care for the animal as we always have regarding his social and psychological stimulation, care and nutrition. We are reviewing our protocol on the proximity of our employees and Tilikum.””

I can find no report of an Orca Whale in the wild killing a human being – apart from Jonah’s apocryphal account, so surely the ‘what should we do now’ question would be best answered by letting all the Whales go back to the open sea where human’s are perfectly safe from them?

{ 41 comments }

1 Bugger (the Panda) February 26, 2010 at 16:20

For a brief moment when the headline was displayed on the side bar of another blogsite I thought you had started a petition for the female lecher of the earlier article.

Silly Bugger.

2 Barman February 26, 2010 at 16:37

What’s more annoying?

A dog chewing your shoe or…

a killer whale eating your trainer?

3 Rightwinggit February 26, 2010 at 16:45

KILLER Whale.

The clue’s in the fucking name.

4 binlid February 26, 2010 at 17:22

Unfortunately, whales bred and kept in captivity for any length of time, are unlikely to survive if freed into the wild. It is about time there was some legislation put in place to stop these (and other) creatures being bred purely for the purpose of “entertainment”.

5 Alan February 26, 2010 at 18:38

Perhaps captive orcas could be put into reservoirs to see out their days, or do they need salty water?

Leopard Seals have a cheeky grin but these sealife centres don’t seem interested in training them …

http://www.rosssea.info/pix/images/Leopard_Seal.jpg

6 Loonerzo February 26, 2010 at 19:18

The managers of Killer World should be forced to share the same accommodation as the whaleythings.

7 English Viking February 26, 2010 at 21:51

The book of Jonah is not Apocrophal, it is contained within the standard Protestant canon.

8 Anna Raccoon February 26, 2010 at 21:52

English Viking,

Being a Quaker I can be excused for being a bit hazy on the details…….

9 Anna Raccoon February 26, 2010 at 21:55

Allez Les Bleus!!!!! 20 – 26

I’ll calm down in a minute.

10 Saul February 26, 2010 at 22:05

I thought you were supporting Whales?

11 Anna Raccoon February 26, 2010 at 22:13

Nah! The French have better legs – and Bastareaud!

12 Saul February 26, 2010 at 22:22

Whales don’t have legs. they have……. fins.

13 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 27, 2010 at 00:36

I think we orca change the subject.

14 Gloria Smudd February 27, 2010 at 08:46

Well that seems to have krilled the topic stone dead Mr Thaddeus.

15 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 27, 2010 at 09:46

I see so. I’m feeling a bit Blue now.

16 Gloria Smudd February 27, 2010 at 10:00

I din’t mean to give you the hump back, so cheer up love and give us a smile!

17 Saul February 27, 2010 at 10:31

The spermutations here are endless.

18 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 27, 2010 at 10:51

Indeed! I’m glad to see we’re all back to having a whale of a time!

19 Gloria Smudd February 27, 2010 at 10:52

I didn’t do it on porpoise.

20 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 27, 2010 at 11:43

This is more like it: I’m breaming with joy!

21 Gloria Smudd February 27, 2010 at 12:23

Happy dace are here again!

22 Billy The Fish February 27, 2010 at 12:52

Cod it out, the pair of you.

23 Gloria Smudd February 27, 2010 at 13:06

Don’t you mean cuttle it out, Billy???

24 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 27, 2010 at 14:44

If I bet that this would go downhill at speed, I’m sure I’d be squids in!

25 Saul February 27, 2010 at 14:54

You’d skate it.

26 Gloria Smudd February 27, 2010 at 15:01

I think I’d clam up.

27 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 27, 2010 at 15:46

I’m starting to feel crabby all over again.

28 Gloria Smudd February 27, 2010 at 16:14

I’m beginning to flounder too.

29 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 27, 2010 at 16:29

I shouldn’t really carp, but you seem to be making a halibut of this.

30 Gloria Smudd February 27, 2010 at 16:41

I know. Shellfish of me, isn’t it? I should really know my plaice.

31 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 27, 2010 at 20:14

Enough of this cod humour!

32 Gloria Smudd February 27, 2010 at 20:23

How sharply your harsh words sting, Ray. I’ll stop just as langouste you will too.

I promise. (I was in the Grilse Guides, you know.)

33 Saul February 27, 2010 at 21:19

I won’t mussel in here as you two are dab hands at this. When Ms Raccoon put this up she didn’t expect you to fillet this way. She’ll be down on you like a tun a bricks.

I’m off for a kip per doctors orders.

34 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 27, 2010 at 21:27

Sorry Saul, but that’s just a red herring, isn’t it?

Anyway, it’s time to stop, this is giving me a haddock.

35 Gloria Smudd February 28, 2010 at 09:56

I’m thinking of putting a 70s tribute girl-band together – Piranharama – whaddya think?

36 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 28, 2010 at 16:35

As long as you promise to sing “Barracuda”, Gloria!

37 Gloria Smudd February 28, 2010 at 17:11

Sprat’ll Be The Day! I was thinking more along the lines of Eel Meet Again…

38 Thaddeus J. Wilson February 28, 2010 at 17:21

Not Cockles and Mussels?

39 Gloria Smudd February 28, 2010 at 18:06

If I as much as look at Cockles and Mussels, I’ll Heave, I’ll Heave-oh.

40 Gloria Smudd February 28, 2010 at 20:35

I know that Elton John Dory sang ‘Saturday Night’s Alright for Whiting’ but it’s Sunday, so I’ve been for a curry instead.

41 F1reman March 11, 2010 at 14:51

“Nasty Jap whale killers” along with “nasty people who keep wild animals in captivity.” Then the BBC wouldn’t have had a problem.